How to Create a Self-Care Routine That Makes Sense for You
How to Create a Self-Care Routine That Makes Sense for You
When we think about a self-care routine… I believe the first thing that comes to mind is a list… what are the possibilities? What do people say is best? What should I include?
Then you come across a ready-made list you found online… and there you find a few more of the endless options that exist in this vast world that is the internet, telling you what you should do, could do, or what is best for you.
And often, as we read, research, and discover new things, we end up even more lost than when we started. The search itself already wears you out, and your routine ends up staying exactly the same.
Or you even try to start something, but it doesn’t seem to make much sense, it doesn’t fit into your life, or it simply doesn’t work for you.
Some people give up at this point and don’t manage to achieve what they wanted: to have a routine that works for them.
But there is an important part of all this: who does this routine need to work for? You.
And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but practically everything you could search for online… “do this,” “use that,” “you should do this,” “this is the best”… comes from somewhere outside of you.
You have a thousand possibilities, ads, and suggestions… and you always will.
That’s why my suggestion for finding a routine that makes sense for you… is not to begin by looking for external answers… on the internet, through recommendations, or in lists… but to pause for a moment, look inward, observe yourself, notice and feel what makes sense for you… without rushing.
I believe this can lead you toward better paths: looking for the right products, finding the professionals you want, noticing more clearly whether a practice is working for you or not, and making choices that feel more aligned with your life.
And following that idea, there is one more thing about your routine that may be interesting for you to know and observe…
A routine doesn’t have to be rigid to work:
Well, I want to start by sharing something personal… because, for a long time, I didn’t like the idea of having a routine... I thought I would feel freer simply flowing through the day, and that having a routine would feel like I was trapping myself.
Over time, I learned to love routines and realized that… instead of being a prison, they actually made me even freer, more productive and… whether I followed them or not… was still a daily option/choice. And that changed so much in my life. It made me feel more centered, with more energy, and yet I still felt free, because I learned that a routine didn’t have to be rigid or feel like an obligation.
I also learned that my routine couldn’t be generic. It needed to move with me, make me feel good, and make sense for my life. And there are, of course, some practices that will be more consistent in your life… eating, brushing your teeth, moving your body, working, sleeping, enjoying life. But others will change with you, depending on your menstrual phase, if you menstruate, the season of the year, your mood that day, and the stage of life you’re in.
And incorporating these changes (the internal ones that are uniquely yours, and the external ones) doesn’t mean that you will stop doing something, but rather that you adapt.
Your routine should work for you and support you, not become another source of suffering or a burden in your life. There are days when a walk may be exactly what makes you feel good. On others, going for a walk may feel like a demand when all you really want is to lie down for a while and be still. Or a walk may even feel like too little on a day when you want to use up that extra energy.
You change. So do nature and the environment around you. And your ideal routine moves with that rhythm and helps you navigate those changes, rather than making your life more difficult.
7 questions to help you notice what makes sense for you today
To help you with this process, I want to leave you with a few questions you can ask yourself before you start searching.
Take a little time, read each question, and notice what feeling or answer comes from within you. But remember that you change… so don’t worry if your answers today are different from your answers tomorrow. Some things really do need a daily adjustment… and that’s okay.
Here we go:
- Does my body need more movement or more rest today?
- Does my mind need more stimulation or more silence?
- Do I want company or some time to myself?
- Is there something I would like to express or simply feel?
- Would my home feel better with more organization and/or more coziness? Am I feeling good about the way it is right now?
- Do I have the energy to try something new today, or do I want to stay with only what really matters?
- What could make my day a little more peaceful and/or happy?
I believe and hope that these questions can be a good starting point to help you align your routine with your life today. Think about your answers with care and apply what feels possible and may help you feel good. Experiment. But don’t let these answers themselves become another source of overwhelm.
Create a self-care repertoire that is truly yours
Creating and maintaining your self-care routine doesn’t necessarily mean doing absolutely everything that could be good for you.
Simply being able to choose from different good possibilities, try them, enjoy them, and feel better with what you chose… may already be what makes sense for you in this moment.
Don’t let your routine turn into an obligation that you don’t enjoy following, that makes you feel bad when you can’t keep up with it, or that makes you think that you are the “problem.” Try to pay more attention to yourself and to discovering and collecting your own possibilities.
Knowing yourself and having a repertoire of things that make you feel good can be an incredible way to build a flexible routine. One that allows you to:
- Know what truly helps you relax (in your own unique way) when you are in need of rest.
- Know which exercises or practices can help you use your energy and move your body when that is what you need.
- Know where and how to find silence and stillness when that is what you need.
- Know and recognize who feels good to have around you when you are wanting company.
Listen to yourself, choose, and experience your routine with pleasure and ease, knowing that it comes from within you and is shaped by your choices, your life, and your rhythm.
Your routine can also move with your cycles
And yes, your routine can also move with your cycles.
This may make even more sense if you menstruate, because your body changes throughout the month, and these changes may influence your routine, your energy, and your mood.
But, whether you menstruate or not, your routine can also move with the seasons of the year. Within these broader cycles, the seasons transform the environment around us every few months and may influence our home organization, self-care, food choices, desire for movement or rest, and even the way we perceive our mood and emotions.
Knowing and feeling that summer may feel more aligned with expansion, movement, and spending time with others. And that the cooler weather of Fall and Winter can be a natural invitation to turn inward and seek more coziness. Without the pressure that “you need to follow a rule determined by the season,” simply allow yourself to notice what is happening inside and around you, if you wish. This can bring another layer of information and more clarity to your choices.
Sometimes, simply recognizing and flowing with these changes can make everything feel simpler, lighter, clearer, and more enjoyable.
A routine that works in your favor
I hope these questions and reflections help you create a more enjoyable routine, one that feels good for you and flows more gently within your life.
Remember that your routine should not exist to control you. It is not meant to become another list of things you have to do…. but rather… something that supports you.
And build your own repertoire… that little space you can return to whenever you want to observe yourself, listen to yourself, and choose what makes sense for you in that moment.
Want to explore this path more deeply?
If you’d like some support along the way, I invite you to discover the Waves of Self-Care by Inmersivas.
They were created to accompany you through these different moments, help you listen to yourself, and offer different self-care suggestions based on your own sensations, observations, and inner responses.
Throughout the seasons, quizzes, journals, guides, meditations, and practices offer different paths for you to observe your body, your energy, your emotions, and the cycles around you…
And, from there, experiment with different forms of care that may truly make sense for you.
A little space where you can begin to build a more attentive, flexible, and personal relationship with your own self-care.
If you’d like to learn more, click here!
I wish you beautiful moments of self-care!
With love,
Ananda & Inmersivas
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